


bound by nightmares

by SeraphOfTheGay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Immortality, M/M, Nightmares, Reincarnation, Soulmates, entry for iwaoi week 2017, got heavily inspired by this prompt and i enjoyed writing it, haikyuu!! - Freeform, iwaoi - Freeform, this was fun to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphOfTheGay/pseuds/SeraphOfTheGay
Summary: On specific nights, for the past few years, Oikawa had a nightmare. They all started off the same –– dark clouds, bright stars, some sort of vehicle nearby, some sort of scenery. Just normal things, until this familiar figure appeared again and again, in a different situation each time, calling out for his help. And just like every other time, Oikawa could do nothing to save him.In which Oikawa struggles to tell Iwaizumi the truth about their relationship, because really, it's something even he thought impossible before he became it himself.





	bound by nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> oohhhh boooyy iwaoi week MY FAV. this is an entry for iwaoiweek2017 on tumblr!! im honestly so excited to post this, not only because i feel a slight improvement on my writing style but because i haven't posted in a while and i'm reallly hoping to get some nice feedback and/or kudos!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Day 1: Immortality

"Unable are the loved to die

For love is immortality."

– Emily Dickinson

 

I.

Dark clouds filled the sky, inking the beautiful blue into a midnight black. The stars burned bright like a million fireflies clumped together, shining through the darkness like lights in a cave. A helicopter whirred up above, disturbing the eerie silence of the night.

A road came into view then, a simple path by the mountains, surrounded on one side with water and the other by large rocks and boulders.

It was all normal, really. Just a passing of the day, a simple scene in nature, a steady movement of vehicles and stars.

That is, until a hand reached out to him, screaming his name.

_Oikawa. Oikawa. Oikawa!_

He could almost feel the water droplets on his face as if the dream itself were real and not a figment of his imagination. He was drowning, yet he could somehow breathe as if he had all the oxygen in the world. He looked down momentarily and felt, with a sudden burst of consciousness, an extra weight on him; someone was latching onto his arm, with a grip so tight that if they were to let go, they might’ve been lost forever. As his eyes stumbled upon who was reaching out to him with such desperation, a giant wave of water cascaded upon him, separating the two instantly, not even leaving a second to at least attempt to hold on longer.

The shouting continued somewhere distant, yet it felt so close. Like it was right next to him, haunting him, giving him a sign, _something_. It became louder now, thrumming in his ears, matching the heavy beating of his heart. He tried to follow it, but something was in the way. Something terrible, something he could never hope to control, something he found deliberately ominous. He stepped forward, fighting the current of the ocean, reaching out to grab whatever he thought he could, when suddenly, he was swallowed by the darkness that had greeted him.

And then it ended. Just like that. The nightmare disappeared as quickly as it had come.

Oikawa opened his eyes slowly, straining as sunlight spilled into them. Sweat trailed down his temples and down his cheekbones until his face was glossed with a silvery shine. That was the one thing he couldn’t change about the aftermath of a nightmare. He had gotten used to the rest -- no more sitting up abruptly, shaking in fear, or tearing up. But the sweat, the nervousness, the anticipation? He didn’t think he’d ever be able to get rid of those.

On specific nights, for the past few years, Oikawa had a nightmare. They all started off the same –– dark clouds, bright stars, some sort of vehicle nearby, some sort of scenery. Just normal things, until this familiar figure appeared again and again, in a different situation each time, calling out for his help. And just like every other time, Oikawa could do nothing to save him.

He couldn’t break the laws of the universe for others, even though he had already done so for himself.

Oikawa pulled the sheets off of himself and stood up from his bed, not bothering to fix the crumpled mess of linens and comforters. The image of the figure from his nightmares burned behind his eyelids like a flashlight was being held to his eyes. He could see the details perfectly – the spiky dark brown hair, the emerald eyes, the muscular makeup of his body.

The sign had returned.

He knew what this nightmare meant. He had to find _him,_ once again, like he did every time the nightmares appeared.

He knew what he had to do, and he set out.

 

* * *

 

II.

Finding him was not difficult in the slightest. This was always the easiest part of every meeting. The dreams always provided some sort of clue as to where he was located, and since he’d been in this area longer than anyone else can remember, he knew every part of it like the back of his hand.

The two were seated at the top of a mountain, leaning against a tree as the the light breeze gently cooled their tired faces.

“Do you remember that time when we went hiking in that forest?” the boy asked, his gaze focusing on Oikawa’s. From that, Oikawa could tell that something was off; it had only been a couple of hours since the two met, and suddenly this memory was brought up. What was this, the fourth time he’d met him, the fourth time he’d been able to find him? He _definitely_ did not recall any hiking trip in this life.

“Hiking?” Oikawa asked with a puzzled look. Of course he remembered it, but how could this person have? It wasn’t possible. “Iwa-chan, we didn’t go hiking today. You must not be feeling well~” He could tell that wasn’t the response this person wanted to hear, but he wasn’t about to give up on it so easily. He had never been one to give up. Oikawa admired that more than anything.

“Yeah, but,” Iwaizumi, the other boy, started,“I just...it’s weird, you know? It’s all kind of strange, like a dream, but I can’t really say it’s one. It’s too clear to be.” His eyebrows furrowed in thought, trying to rationalize his argument.

Oikawa pressed his lips together, letting Iwaizumi gather his thoughts. He knew he was right, but he couldn’t explain it. After all, he tried that during their very first meeting, and it didn’t go so well.

“Well, Iwa-chan, tell me about this dream of yours,” Oikawa said smoothly, lying down on his stomach with his elbows propped up. He reached up and held a few strands of Iwaizumi’s hair, twirling the short, dark locks between his nimble fingers.

During times like these, it was difficult for Oikawa to differentiate between all the versions of reincarnations he’d met in his lifetime. Or rather, it was supposed to be that way. That’s how it was with everyone else. They always changed in each lifetime; their appearance, their personality, etc. With this one, however, he always stayed the same. Same grumpy attitude, same overprotectiveness, same rough-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside temperament. Nothing changed.

Oikawa loved him. He always would.

“Your weird theories...they didn’t relate to aliens or UFOs this time,” Iwaizumi began, reaching to grasp Oikawa’s hand in his own. He looked dazed, as if he didn’t really comprehend his own words. “You mentioned something about soulmates, right? And reincarnation?” He shook his head and chuckled, staring at the blades of grass blowing beneath them. “I’m crazy, aren’t I? All these random things are coming back to me and I can’t exactly tell where they’re from yet.”

Oikawa shook his head, tightening his grip on Iwaizumi’s hand. “You’re not crazy, Iwa-chan!”

He gestured for him to lie down with him in the grass, and Iwaizumi obeyed. Soon he was lying in the same position as Oikawa, their heads so close he could feel his warm breath on his neck.

“Good, because one of us has to be sane,” Iwaizumi huffed out with a laugh, attempting to break the momentary silence.

Oikawa looked into his eyes then, lost in the swirls of emerald. It was mesmerizing to look at them; he was caught in the spell every time, unable to look away. “What if I told you my theory? We’ll see if it matches your memory.” His eyes averted then, the spell broken by his own willpower. He figured that starting it this way would be a simple, less painful way to slip the truth in.

Iwaizumi nodded at that, moving closer until their shoulders brushed against one another. “Tell me, then. What crazy theory have you got for me now?”

Oikawa smiled at that, but it was fleeting. “I’ve been doing some research. In some religions, for example, Hinduism, they believe in this concept of reincarnation. When you die, instead of going to Heaven or Hell, you are born again to a new family, a new life, with no memories of your past life. However, there have been some instances where people would be able to remember their past lives with such clarity that it almost seemed impossible, but they only remembered it as the life of someone they could have never known.” He looked at Iwaizumi to see if he was still listening, and he was. His eyes were sharp, intent, focused. Oikawa blushed slightly at that. “Also,” he continued, “some people believe in soulmates. It’s when the universe creates one being but splits their soul in half.”

There was a period of silence. Iwaizumi thought about it all for a moment, and then nodded with some understanding. “Sounds a little fantasy-like to me, but it’s a cool idea.”

“There’s more,” Oikawa whispered, and Iwaizumi shivered at the tone in his voice. “I have a theory relating to both of those things.”

“What is it?” Iwaizumi asked, immediately intrigued.

Oikawa swallowed the lump in his throat, and ran his thumb across Iwaizumi’s knuckles like he always did when he needed to calm his nerves. “I believe that...if we want to escape the existence of this planet, we have to find and die beside our soulmate. If we want to move on from this world, we would have to find our other half, and it has to be the right one, not just who _we_ think is the right one. That’s why, some of us are reincarnated again and again in different bodies, different times, until we exist in the same frame as our soulmate.”

Iwaizumi blinked at that, and his lips jutted out into his signature pout. “Jeez...don’t talk about death so suddenly, Shittykawa. We’re still teenagers, it’s not like we have to have our lives figured out already, especially not the end of them.”

Oikawa wanted to make a joke at that. He normally would. He’d say something along the lines of ‘Aw, Iwa-chan, are you _afraid_ of dying?’ or ‘You must be too stupid to plan your future so early~’ This time, however, as much as he’d like to joke around, the situation was too dire for him to do so.

His eyes wavered, and suddenly, everything around him felt too hot. “Iwa– Hajime, you just don’t get it…”

“Huh?” Iwaizumi lifted his head up and tilted it ever so slightly, just until he could get a clear view of Oikawa’s face. “Come on, I know you better than anyone else. You don’t even have any other friends, do you?”

“And you don’t find that weird?” he blurt out, startling Iwaizumi. “We just...we just met a few hours ago.”

“I...am I moving things too quickly?” Iwaizumi said suddenly, panic filling his heart. “Shit, Oikawa, I’m sorry…!”

“No.” Oikawa shook his head in distraught, and all sense of joy, flirtatious nature, and smooth talk disappeared from his voice as he spoke the next words. “...We’ve met before.”

Iwaizumi noticed the darkness of the way Oikawa had said that, but he didn’t seem to understand just yet. It was evident from the confusion swirling in his eyes. “Uh...right...because...we’re soulmates, aren’t we? So it feels like I know you so much already, since our souls are part of one whole being, like you said. I don’t want to bring this up but...since we found each other, we can be free. We can...you know...die by each other’s side.”

Oikawa said nothing. He removed his hand from Iwaizumi’s and curled it into a fist, his uncut fingernails digging into his skin and leaving behind imprints of crescent moons. Iwaizumi took this as a sign that Oikawa needed his space, so he pushed himself up and leaned against the tree again, looking up at the moon. It reflected brilliantly in his eyes, bringing out the gentle innocence within them.

“Hey, I just thought of something,” Iwaizumi announced after a few minutes.

Oikawa looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

“You’ve got me in this weird theory mood, so here’s another one. What if one of us never dies?”

Oikawa’s eyes widened. There was a brief moment of relief in them, but it quickly morphed into sadness. It took some time, but he had actually done it. The truth…

“Why the hell do you look like you’ve seen a ghost or something?” Iwaizumi asked then, placing a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder and pulling him out of his thoughts. “Your eyes are the size of golfballs. You look like one of those stupid aliens from that book you showed me.” His eyes scanned Oikawa’s features, and suddenly, he felt something in his heart, a pang of worry. “Hey...Oikawa...you okay?”

It was then that Oikawa began to tear up. He sat up from his position and crawled over to where Iwaizumi was, taking his place by his side.

An alarm went off in Iwaizumi’s mind, immediately prompting him to scold Oikawa. “God...you’re crying?! This is why I said we shouldn’t have brought up death. Seriously you–”

He was cut off as Oikawa’s lips met his own. He could feel the desperation in the gesture from the way Oikawa pulled him closer and closer, gripping onto his shirt so tightly it left behind creases. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them resisting each other’s touch.

Once they parted, Iwaizumi cupped Oikawa’s face, using his thumb to wipe away stray tears. “You’re an ugly crier, you know.”

“So mean…” Oikawa whined softly. He could see the faint blush in Iwaizumi’s cheeks even in the darkness of the night.

He thought about all the times he and Iwaizumi had met. Each time, Iwaizumi was drawn to him somehow, like they were two opposing ends of a magnet. It must’ve been a soulmate thing, Oikawa figured. All these times, Oikawa was the only one who knew from the start that Iwaizumi was his soulmate. There was no searching without any guidance that had to be done, no doubting if he was the right one. But now, for the first time, it was mutual. Iwaizumi had remembered.

“If I upset you, I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi said suddenly, breaking his thoughts. He placed a gentle kiss on Oikawa’s forehead, and Oikawa sniffled as his lips made contact. The warmth of them made him shiver in delight.

“Iwa-chan, your theory…” He cleared his throat, staring up at the sky.

“Yeah, it’s stupid, isn’t it? This is why I don’t play any of your crazy mind games.”

Oikawa ignored that comment. “If one of us were immortal, he’d walk the earth for eternity, and each time, he’d search for his other half.”

Iwaizumi was about to say something, but a sudden flash of memory burned in his mind, and his jaw dropped slightly at what he saw. “Wait a second…my dream...it’s all making sense now…”

Oikawa smiled at that, a sad, painful smile, but a smile nonetheless. He watched as Iwaizumi’s eyes widened in horror, staring at Oikawa as though he were a figment of his imagination.

“You’re...you’re…” He choked on his words. “You’re immortal..”

Oikawa nodded, a bit hesitant at first. Before he could explain himself, Iwaizumi had already lunged himself at him, hugging him tightly, so hard that he almost couldn’t breathe. If that were possible. “Ha, Iwa-chan...you’re so stupid...it took you so many lifetimes to figure that out…”

Iwaizumi held back something rising in his throat, trying not to yell. “Don’t fucking joke with me! Does this mean...all this time...you knew I was your soulmate? And you had to watch me die?! Every single time?”

Oikawa nodded again. He wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t so close. When he said that, his voice was soft, distant. Not like his usual loud, booming tone.

“It hurts, Iwa-chan. But for you, I’d endure anything.”

“Don’t be stupid! How can I let you suffer like this?!” His voice rose a little, but it was wavering.

Oikawa said nothing.

“When will all of this end?! Can we ever move on?!”

“I…” He trailed off, not knowing how to answer without making things worse. "It'll be okay, Iwa-chan."

“You _moron!”_ Iwaizumi yelled, unable to control his anger anymore. “If you're immortal, why didn’t you just tell me?! How is it even possible for you to be that way?! Why does this have to happen to you...to us…”

As Iwaizumi began panicking, with Oikawa trying to calm him down and explain, the two had failed to notice the dark clouds forming above them. The wind had picked up speed, making the trees rustle violently and the leaves to blow off in many directions.

"Answer me!" 

Oikawa opened his mouth to speak, but there was no time to say anything. In that very moment, the rocks beneath them crumbled under the pressure of the winds, and as his forever-beating heart froze for a moment, Iwaizumi lost his footing and fell off the cliff, straight into the powerful tides of the water.

It happened so fast that Oikawa had to blink to make sure it was real, and not another nightmare.

“IWA-CHAN!” Oikawa screamed, all other words lost in his throat. Without a second thought, he jumped in after him, not caring about the wind ripping into his clothes and scarring his skin.

Fear pulsed in his veins, panic exploding in his heart. No, he couldn’t lose him again. Not like this. They had just found each other, and Iwaizumi was starting to remember their past lives for the first time ever. It wasn’t fair. He wished none of it were happening.

But, no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t ignore the painful truth.

The truth that his nightmare had finally caught up to him, and it became reality. At least nightmares could be stopped after waking up. Reality, however, could not be controlled, even if you were immortal.

It didn’t take Oikawa long to realize something very important. Being immortal was not a gift; it was a curse. And he had no idea what in the world he did to deserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> so in case the message didn't come through ( i tried not to be too subtle ) Oikawa realized one day that he'd become immortal. For two souls to be free from the world, they have to find each other and die together. Since OIkawa can't die, he's trapped in this world forever, having to watch Iwaizumi die again and again and then reincarnate with no memories of their past life. They always found each other again, and the routine was the same every time, but this time Iwaizumi started to remember one of their past lives. And I guess as a curse from the world for realizing this, he died earlier than his other lives. #gottaloveangst™


End file.
